Why I hate Equation, a continuation.

List of problems with Equation:

-Emily, Josh(s), Alesha, Mrs. Fetingis, etc...all forgot my birthday

-In lieu of forgotten birthday, they made me a cake. While I was there.

-The cake tasted like baked sugar with flour. And some more sugar on top of that.

-In thinking "Hey, today is my birthday." I asked Josh if I could play Guitar Hero with them. He said no.

-I sat. Alone. And cold. Next to my do nothing of a "boyfriend". Watching everyone else play Guitar Hero. On my birthday.

-The only upside of the night was when I got my gift from the gift exchange: a board game Risk. Except for when Emily called me today and asked if I could bring it back, because it was 'supposed to be for Equation as a whole'.

-Spawn of Satan (Marc) goes there. I don't want to go near his never-moving rear. The only traveling he does is around his friggn Arizona tea can.

Quote time..."It really hurt me that you forgot my birthday, Emily. Not only that, but when I asked you and Josh if I could simply play a song of Guitar Hero with you, you said no. That left me sitting next to ...marc...wishing that I had never gone to Equation in the first place. You know, my friends from my old school whom I haven't talked to or really seen in over 4 months had the dignity to give me a call and say Happy Birthday, yet you whom I see very often and talk to quite often completely forget. I thought long and hard about why you could have forgotten something like that, and the only thing I could come up with is that I'm simply not important enough to you to be remembered. Sure, we all make mistakes, have busy days, and can forget things, but at the end of the day, you remember what's really important to you. Guess I just wasn't that. Don't give me a sorry, it's too late for that. It's also unnecessary, because if you really had been sorry, your actions would have spoken louder than your words. Yes, you gave me a gift, and to be honest I did really appreciate and enjoy it, but the fact that you weren't actually putting forth any effort to have a real birthday celebration just tore me apart. I've gone through more hard times in the past year of my life then I think you can realize, and you guys at Equation were one of the only walls that I had leaned on. However, any and all walls there that I leaned agaist have now been shattered, thanks to circumstances beyond my control. Perhaps it was a quixotic combination between the fact that I don't believe in the same ideas that you do and the fact that I truely can't relate to any of you there that made the bond I once shared come to a crashing halt. Whatever the factor, I feel ready to take the next step and move on, whichever direction that may take me. Maybe this will all just blow over and I can regain some sort of sense of belonging at Equation, because I'm willing to give it one more shot. If it falls through again, though, I am ready and prepared to continue on my own journey without the help from Equation.
I know that we're all human and forget things, but you never forget those who hold deep meaning to your life. For whatever reason, any meaning I had with/to you has been lost, and I'm utterly clueless as how to go about regaining that.
So thank you for all the pleasant memories and the painted cookies, and I hope that the best possible things come to pass between and among us all.
Here's to hoping for a fabulous New Year,
Lukewarm regards,
xxxxxxx"

I always hated math class, and now I hate Equation too.

It is nearly impossible to go through life without even one person that you can talk to. Yet when everyone in your life has turned their back on you, it is harder still to find it inside you to trust anyone with your personal life. So you spend your days in suffering, the pain never ceasing, only coming in variable waves.

Then one day you hand someone your heart. For the first time in your life, you feel secure. You actually think you might be able to love and trust someone with your entire being.

The years roll by, you and them have a few falling outs, yet all remains the same. You are both growing older by the minute, but are still just as close as you were in the prime of your youth.

However, what turns out to be the most important day of your life also becomes the one day that they reveal to you that you are of no value to them. They find it fitting to take everything from you and incinerate it all inside the fiery oven of their purely diabolical core.

And like a rose in full bloom, beautiful, fragile, innocent, tender as you were, you turn to a pile of grey char, blown into the distance by the piercing winds of their contemptable auras.

My soul is growing...cold...

And by that, I'm not just referring to the subzero temperatures that lurk outside my brother's apartment building.

Yeah, for a week I came out to his place and have been living for awhile. It's been fun, but I'm totally ready to go home. Although I've had some good talks and hang outs with my brother, his boyfriend, and his roommate, I'd like to go back home. All this socializing has been a bit much for me. I'm more of an introvert.

As for 'my soul growing cold', that's referring to the shitty way my friends have been treating me lately. For example, they forgot about my birthday. On top of that, on the day of said birthday which they forgot, whenever I asked them to do something with me, I was either blatently ignored or mocked.

So my birthday, in a way, fucking stunk.

Plus, my boyfriend hasn't taken me on more than two dates. Did I mention we've been dating for six weeks now?

Mhm. I got a twenty dollar bill and a generic 'Happy Birthday' card too.

Ooh, godda love those 99 cent deals!

Eh, Marc...sometimes I want to spork out his eyes and drain his head of it's cranial fluids o.0

In conclusion, my friends aren't really my friends, and therefore I think my soul is starting to turn cold.
Why?
Because when they smile or wave at me or just try to communicate with me in general, I either turn my head away or give them a look of pure hatred and/or disgust.

And it doesn't effect me.

Hmm...I need a new group.

The big 1-7 on Sunday. And week 5 of me and Spawn of Satan.

Well, it's official. This Sunday, I get old. er

Seventeen, bitch! Woo hoo!

.....

Anyways, December 14th is my birthday. Cheers and beers to all who share that same blessed day.

For the record, I'm still dating S.O.S. (Marc, for you newbies.)
It'll be five weeks this Sunday, my birthday, actually.

Oh, the pain involved in it o.0

Sure, he's a nice guy and all, but he's been seriously pissing me off these past three weeks. Hell, to be fully honest, I've wanted to break up with him for the past four weeks.
On top of this, I've got a crush on someone ELSE!

Yes, it's horrible.
But if you met this guy, you'd completely understand.

For starters, he went to a party. Was supposed to bring me. Told me the evening before that I couldn't go with him [literally]. Confessed to being kissed and groped by another girl. And to top off that bullshit, he said, "Nothing bad, right?"

If murder wouldn't result in going to prison, he would be dead in a gutter somewhere. Right now.

What kind of motherfucking asshole goes and does something like that behind your back then tells you it wasn't a big deal to your face?

God, I really hate men. Sometimes.

But, not all men are evil. Some are dead.

And one day even the Spawn of Satan will meet his demise.

Mwahahahahaha.