And then there was one...

...but it's my own fault anyway. I went and fucked up a good thing.

A boy does like me--no, wait..did like me....and I pretty much screwed up whatever was there of him liking me in a boyfriend/girlfriend kind of way.

He was one of the cutest, nicest...TALLEST boys that I knew! His name was Jonathan and--now he's history.

And it's all my fault.

I could have had a best friend. Or boyfriend. Or more.

Then I opened up my fucking mouth and BLEW IT.

He flat out asked me if I liked him, but instead of replying with a simple and honest "Yes", I got nervous and lied and told him that, "I'm just your friend...I don't like you like that"

So now he no longer flirts with me and just gives me sad looking eyes. Everytime I look into those sad yet somewhat sexy blue eyes of his I feel terrible about lying, but I can't tell him the truth because then I'll look like a cowardly prick!

It's a lose-lose situation.

Today is exactly eight days before Valentine's Day. All of my friends have a nice boyfriend they'll be spending the day with. Said boyfriends will be buying them chocolates, roses, movie tickets, clothes...cuddling them, and just loving on them all day.

Since there is no hope for me anymore, I plan on spending my Valentine's Day cooped up in my room, all alone, eating Frango Mints or Ferro Roches and watching Brokeback Mountain.

Alex, girlfriend of that bastard Marc, invited me to come spend Heart's Day with her and Marc. While they watch movies, cuddle, kiss, eat dinner.....oh dear God NO.
I don't plan on going there. Not on my life. Not with the spawn of Satan present.

Unless God has a hidden guy waiting to give me roses in these next eight days, my Valentine's Day will be quite lonely. Lately God has been pretty much ignoring me, though.

Damn it, God.